Terms of Service for the Year 2026
Posted December 30, 2025 by Solbu in New-Year (New Year, Jokes)
§1. Grant of Yearly License
By grace and providence of the Good Lord, a non-exclusive, non-transferable, time-bound License (“the Year”) is hereby granted unto all who yet draw breath at the passing of the final second of Anno Domini 2025, permitting lawful entry into the Year Two Thousand and Twenty-Six (2026). Acceptance of this License shall be automatic and irrevocable, requiring neither signature nor sacrifice, for Time waiteth for no man.
§2. Terms, Conditions, and Divine Discretion
The License is provided as is, without warranty of ease, comfort, or understanding. The Year may contain blessings, trials, delays, reversals, miracles, Mondays, and lessons repeated until learned. The Lord reserveth full and sovereign right to alter plans, close doors, open others, and answer prayers with “Yes,” “No,” or “Wait.” No explanation shall be owed, though wisdom may be granted upon request.
§3. Limitations, Mercy, and Continuance
The Licensee shall remain responsible for words spoken, deeds done, and naps skipped, and may not attribute all errors to the Year itself. Nevertheless, mercy shall be available in abundance, forgiveness shall be renewable without limit, and grace shall cover all breaches confessed in good faith. Upon completion of the Year, this License shall expire naturally, subject to renewal should the Lord so will.